MacPhobias
By Robert Pritchett
Not to be confused with http://www.macphobia.org/ or
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Mac-o-phobia
or http://del.icio.us/phobia/mac, but borrowed in large part from Dennis Sellers article…
http://www.macsimumnews.com/index.php/archive/a_halloween_look_at_mac_fears_and_phobias
Were there any phobias experienced at MacWorld Expo? Were there any witnessed at CES? We have seen whole roomfuls of IT-people cringe in the corners as they watched Apple events out of the corners of their eyes, while the Mac-happy folks watch in wonder at past Stevenotes. Since I don’t suffer from these phobias, I was totally unsympathetic and laughing my head off when I heard and saw these non-Mac folks quivering in fear, sure they would loose their geek-centric jobs if they even looked at the screens of MacWorld events. Incredible. Simply unbelievably incredible!
So the only thing we really have to fear is fear itself. Let’s look at some made-up and real phobias. See if you recognize any of these. Perhaps you can add some?
Dennis Sellers (DS) had fun presenting a few of these in his Video Sandbox vodcast a while ago:
AdobeUbinaryphobia - the fear that software developers will follow Adobe’s direction and develop for the Mactel-only instead of making all products “Ubinaried” (Universal Binary chip independent). (Robert Pritchett – RP)
Analanalysisphobia - a fear of reports of the Apple’s demise. (DS)
Dayafterigotmymacthenewonecomesoutaphobia - the dreaded and paralyzing fear that, no matter how long you wait to buy your new Mac, there will be a newer version released just over the 14-day return mark. There’s no treatment for this emotional disorder unless you pre-order on the day new hardware is announced and can deal with the fact that it will recur once your shipment arrives. (DS)
Dvorakphobia - the fear of baseless Mac-bashing columns. (DS)
Familysupportaphobia - the growing fear that as more people switch to Macs, you become their tech support (usually accompanied by fauxlemminginia.) Josh Morgan
FauxLemminginia - the fear of others learning that you use a Mac. (DS)
Lamegameophobia - the fear that new games ported from Windows to Macs will stink.
MacFanaticphobia - the real fear that the Mac Fanatics will flame you for “attacking” Apple Corporation missteps. (RP)
Macmalwarephobia - the fear that someday, sometime, someone somewhere, may actually create a real viral attack on Macs! (RP)
Macsectomitis - a fear of opening up your Mac. (DS)
Realitydistortionatonia - the inability to return to the real world after being exposed to Steve Jobs’ Reality Distortion Field. (DS)
RTFMophobia - a fear of reading manuals (subcategory: Indexia, the fear of searching for an answer in a manual). (DS)
Steveleavegrievephrenia - a fear that Steve Jobs will leave the company.
Switchophobia - the fear that Mac “elitists” won’t be “unique enough” as the Apple Tsunami takes over the computing industry and EVERYONE eventually uses Macs! (RP)
Terminal Terror - a fear of command lines and the Terminal Utility. (DS)
Vistaphobia - the fear that Microsoft’s Vista might actually ship with real security this time… (RP)
